During the residence, Oksana Kazmina wanted to buy a pink inflatable flaming from an ATB market. She said she could already envision beautiful photos of the estuary. But I’ve talked her out of it due to how unreasonably expensive the flamingo was. At that moment, I was channelling my overly-frugal mother, but later, taking a stroll along the estuary, I thought about the missed opportunity of those photos and experiences. This artwork is my amend. I dedicate it to all the unrealized fantasies.
Making an inflatable flamingo out of papier-mâché is one of the silliest things I’ve ever done. Instead of making money, I glued one layer of paper after the other and smiled.
Now on to the characters. For me, this residence was a real treat. I got a holiday that I had ceased to dream of. I felt free and was close to those who understand me. When I thought about the upcoming exhibition and what kind of work I want to do, the same picture appeared over and over again in my head. More precisely, it was a memory. I got the experience after smoking a very strange joint. While not being able to move or fall asleep, I saw and felt something that I cannot forget. It was an infinite field. I’m looking straight ahead. I am not a woman nor am I a man. To the right and to the left there are those like me. There are seven or eight of us. We are all looking straight ahead. I know they can hear my thoughts. I mentally tell them: “I can't take it any more. I can't stand it. It hurts too much.” They are silent. They understand. Then I hear a familiar and serene: “You chose it yourself, remember? You knew it would be like this. It’s time to go back.” The infinite field is beautiful, but it does not inspire images. Each of these entities lives one at a time, giving others the opportunity to feel. I know that we have always existed. Calm and strong. I came back to live out all that I have chosen.